The mystery of the disappearing hair ties

This week things got interesting. After what felt like years of searching, I finally found Michele’s secret stash of hair ties. My heart soared with joy. Oh, glorious stretchy, rubbery, bouncy hair ties! They are my all-time favorite snack. 

I found the stash, tucked neatly away in a small bag on the bathroom counter. It was around noon and the large, bald one was at the peak of her daily activity. I fought the desire to dig into the bag right away. Instead, I took just one hair tie and retired to my special spot under the bed until nighttime fell. 

I waited patiently, for what seemed like an eternity until she finally fell asleep. Once the coast was clear, I crept up onto the bathroom counter and, one by one, I removed each hair tie from its bag and swatted it onto the bathroom floor. It took nearly all night, but I eventually relocated every hair tie underneath the couch for safekeeping. 


Once I was done with a hard night’s work, I promptly threw up the afternoon’s hair tie in the middle of the living room rug. After Iicking part of it back up, I ate another hair tie and then laid down on the couch for a good, long nap. 

As I drifted off to sleep I imagined the endless nights ahead. With unfettered access to my secret stash, I can eventually eat the entire bag and cover every square inch of the living room rug with cat vomit. Oh, happy days!

MICHELE’S ADDENDUM: After 3 weekend trips in a row, staying in this weekend was a welcome treat. I took some time for a drive among the river bluffs and was treated to endless hills covered in pristine snow. The sun shone brightly as horses and cows ventured outside of their barns for the first time in weeks. 

On the way home I stopped to buy a new pack of hair ties, I just can’t imagine where they keep running off to. 

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